that feels different...

Virgin for 19 years and finally it happened. there goes waiting for marriage. so many mixed emotions tho cuz the experience felt good and bad. a good christian girl, what happend to those strong morals. one beach house, 6 friends, 2 goodlooking people with a buzz is what happened. 10 seconds of curiosity and apparently that counts for somethin. makin out felt good but WOW! that feels different! too much happened too fast. tryin to figure out the "technical" terms so overanalyzing doesnt happen, but its already happenin. freakin out and laughter come next all at the same time cuz it she couldn't figure out if it was real or not! met a week ago and already shared that connection. she doesnt know what to do, he's confused as to why. its not a big deal, its all natural. you only live once. excuses. a dissapointed mother feels like a failure. nothin for you to look foward to anymore she says. you've conformed. you're no different then them. a daughter who was doing so well is in a spin. confused cuz she liked it. sad cuz she shouldn't have. not the way it was planned to happen, no sexy white gown dyin to get torn off in a Europian hotel. life is different for her now. once wasn't enough, she's already got the craving for more. cuz self control is harder once its been tested and failed.